what clothes to wear before going to class, which shoes fit my dress today, which places should i have my dinner, and which lauk to be picked, blablablabla and even whether to take shower or not >.<
they do happen everyday.
for some people, its just a normal thing that they can deal with it easily. they can make their own decisions, without other people to give opinions, and without bothering what other people will say about things they make up in their life.
to be honest i really hate making decisions. yeah im a grown up girl, but up until now, i never know how to deal with this kind of things. im afraid i will choose a wrong decision and regret it for the whole of my life.
i know if i lie to others im lying to myself, and that's a problem. BIG problem.
in the morning, i will spend almost half an hour in front of the mirror, figuring out what clothes to be put on. during lunch at the cafe, i will ask Alfa for her opinion about what should i eat today. or else i will just eat the same lauk i picked up yesterday or the day before yesterday or the day before3 that. in the evening, Fathiah will choose the kedai that we will have our dinner that day. almost in every single things, people around me have to help me to make decisions. thats the use of friends kan kan kan?
its pretty annoying right?
the same goes when i have to deal with stress. seriously its killing me. but i dont really know whether i have to express it, share with someone or just let them buried in myself. and at last i will just laugh. and smile. pretending like i got A or B in my tests or exams. in fact i got the lowest mark in class.
yeah im good at pretending. thats a hidden skill isnt it?
i did learnt about critical thinking during my first semester, but it didnt seems to help at all.
as everyday passes i still trying to find the best medicine for this weird disease. maybe its still okay for now (absolutely not when i found it hard to choose answers for questions in exams -.-' ) but i know if i didnt try to find the cure, i will found myself lost in the future. (aku rasa ada masalah bila nak pilih hasben nanti)
dear my future husband, please bear with me. after we get married you will have to make all the decisions for me, for us and for our children :)
oh ya i think i didnt perform really well during ielts this morning. listening i hate u
2 comments:
sometimes, people think too much on making decisions which actually they do not need to do so.
if you feel that choosing is annoying, then pick up everything in front you at a time.
but, but. choosing husband do absolutely the toughest one :)
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